Help Wanted: What Is It I Want?

My dear readers,

You are correct. It has been much, much too long.

The turn of the year has weighed on me more heavily than I thought. (This might have something to do with the gravity associated with my newly formed star-state.) That and I've been in and out of town, all over the country, through various states (including those of mind), and all across the spectrum of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

What can I even say about this all at once? Let's see...

I have been reconsidering (as usual) my life and occupational goals and coming to the conclusion that my current job is okay for now but it isn't really what I want to do forever. This is where you come in, dear readers. I will list what I want out of a job and you will tell me what job it is I want! Brilliant! So, here goes (from a recent conversation that sparked this whole entry):

• i do not like what i do now, which is mostly just...BS (I can find general resources for people, but not specific answers, I can talk to people in the approved language for a certain project, but not with my own thoughts)

• i like helping people, but perhaps not on an individual basis

• i want to help society, do things to benefit people in general

• and i also like being an expert, but i can't decide in which field i'd most like to be an expert
  

• i would like to learn more about how the world and different cultures work and how we affect different cultures and the world

• and i would like to come up with some real solutions to fixing or alleviating or at the very least recognizing the bad problems in the world

Furthermore:

• i know the dream will never come true

• but i still dream it

So, if you have any insight, advice, or experience to share, please feel free. Otherwise, just know that I am still here, thinking and wondering and trying as best I can.