A series of unfortunate events...

It's disastrous!

I turn 24 and suddenly I'm falling apart. By falling apart, I mean...well, not getting any younger...or skinnier. I finally gave in and bought a new pair of jeans in the next size up last weekend and they still don't really fit. They look fine, but I feel slightly like fainting if I wear them for long. (Harkening back to the uncomfortable era of corsets...) Luckily, I have my old favorites that fit me perfectly (strange how that works--they have grown with me...larger and wiser, of course) so I guess I'll just wear those until forever. That'll be nice. "Grandmother Lark, where did you get those jeans? Well, Tommy (because I'm sure my children will name their son Tommy), back at the turn of the century, I went to this store called Old Navy"--even the stores I shop at are old!! And I'll have lived through the turn of a century!!

To add insult to injury, we picked our next book at book club, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, which is all about this gorgeous young man who sells his soul for perpetual youth and beauty. An excerpt:

"We never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail. Our senses rot. We degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the courage to yield to. Youth! Youth! There is absolutely nothing in the world but youth!"

Clearly, this probably isn't the best book to be reading at the moment, but the thought didn't cross my mind when I voted for it. Really, though, how much can I trust a character who ends a sentence with a preposition?

So, while I'm considering purchasing heat-activated Avon wrinkle cream and an Ab Lounge Ultra, please, my young friends, don't squander your youth or our country. Vote on Tuesday!

Yes, yes, it all made sense to me. Perhaps I'm just approaching senility...luckily (again), I'm also approaching stardom, according to a previous comment (c.f. "The year in review" from 9/5/06), so please, be prepared.